


Nanny Stannis and the bothersome brother

by Corporate_Blood, Night_Lark



Series: Stannis Baratheon and the most disastrous Small Council in creation [5]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: He's got another child to put up with, Homophobic Language, I'm Bad At Summaries, Name-Calling, Period-Typical Homophobia, Poor Stannis Baratheon, it's minor tho, rainbow cloak, self-invited, the council gang up on Stannis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:08:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25877926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Corporate_Blood/pseuds/Corporate_Blood, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Night_Lark/pseuds/Night_Lark
Summary: Renly has arrived back from his time in the Reach having spent his time with the Tyrells (naturally). Despite him being one and twenty, Stannis is not convinced that he is a man or responsible in any way.And so Renly invites himself to the next council meeting, a decision that infuriates his brother.
Series: Stannis Baratheon and the most disastrous Small Council in creation [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1871917
Kudos: 4





	Nanny Stannis and the bothersome brother

Renly had arrived in King’s Landing after spending the last few months in the Reach. He had stayed with the Tyrells, doing little more than partake in banquets and other parties. Stannis entered the Throne room, in which his brothers were catching up. Renly made Robert roar with laughter with tales of his time with the Tyrells.

“Ah, brother, so nice of you to join us,” Renly cheerily said. The man of one and twenty was all smiles and charm. His youth and good looks were gifts time and drink had stripped from Robert.

Stannis cast a cold eye over his younger brother. “Indeed,” he replied, not reflecting the warmth that came easily to the other Baratheons.

“Congratulations on being made Hand,” Renly smiled, not fazed by his brother’s curtness. “Any room on the council for me?” He japed, giving Robert a look that made him laugh.

_Another child wouldn’t go amiss,_ Stannis thought dryly. “You believe you could handle such a responsibility?”

“I’m a man now.”

“Are you?” Stannis raised an eyebrow sceptically. “Reports from the Reach suggest otherwise.”

“We shall see,” Renly replied before storming out of the throne room.

There was the Baratheon fury.

* * *

Stannis met up with Renly outside the Council chamber. Or, rather, nearly crashed into his younger brother as he rounded the corner.

“And what are you doing lurking around here?” Stannis demanded.

“Attending a Small Council meeting,” an unphased Renly answered.

“You aren’t a member.” He cast his eye over Renly’s outfit, spotting the rainbow cloak. “You are not attending a meeting wearing _that_.”

“Why not? It’s perfectly fashionable.”

“That’s the problem,” Stannis sighed but Renly ignored him and entered the chamber. Thankfully they were the first one to arrive, giving Stannis more time to convince his brother to leave.

“And is this my chair?” Renly asked, making a beeline for the chair at the head of the table.

“Absolutely not!” Stannis grabbed ahold of Renly’s shoulders and steered him away from the chair.

“Then which one is my chair?”

“None of them, you are not on the council.”

Renly didn’t listen to his brother and simply crossed over to the chair situated between where Bronn and the Mountain sit. “How about this one?”

Stannis sat down in his chair with a sigh and Renly took this as a yes. Thankfully that chair was usually vacant so no fights would break out.

The brothers sat and waited, Renly passing the time by tapping against the wooden table top and tipping his chair back.

* * *

Qyburn was the first council member to arrive. He was perfectly on time and crossed the room to his seat, not sparing a glance at Renly. He joined the Baratheons in their silent wait.

A minute or two later, Ramsay showed up. He was pretty much on time, his eyes lingering on the rainbow cloak Renly wore as he took his seat beside Qyburn.

Bronn showed up about five minutes after. He took his usual seat, giving Renly quizzical looks but the younger man didn’t budge.

Ten minutes after, Joffrey swaggered in. He did a double take at seeing his other uncle there, especially in something so ridiculous. He sat down to the left of the Hand, eyes narrowing at Renly.

Twenty minutes past before Euron showed up, staggering slightly and bumping into the door frame as he walked inside. Stannis couldn’t tell if Euron was drunk or whether it was a lack of depth perception due to the eye patch he wore. As Euron sat to his right, the smell of strange alcohol hit Stannis. His nose wrinkled but Euron was busy eyeing up the newcomer.

The Mountain made them wait half an hour before he lumbered into the chamber. Stannis’s patience was already worn thin and they had just taken their seats. He sighed internally and braced himself for the meeting.

“I wasn’t aware it was bring your kid to work day,” Bronn japed, looking from Renly to Stannis.

“He’s not my child,” Stannis replied.

“I’m a man! One and twenty, in fact,” Renly retorted.

“You’re a flaming poof,” Ramsay muttered under his breath.

“What man has a rainbow cloak?” Joffrey said, his comment not as covert.

“I wouldn’t expect a boy to understand fashion,” Renly scoffed.

“The point still stands,” Bronn chipped in, “I wasn’t aware we could bring guests.”

“You can’t,” Stannis said.

“Then why is he here?”

Stannis thought for a second. Renly was his brother, a Baratheon, and so Stannis would cover for his blood. “He needs to learn responsibility, maturity, and focus his time on politics.”

“Can we bring our ‘children’ next time?” Euron asked.

“I pity any whores you knocked up,” Bronn tutted, shaking his head for extra effect.

The pirate snapped his head to look at the sellsword. “Likewise.”

“Renly is my brother, _not_ my child,” Stannis insisted. “You would have a point _if_ I had actually brought my child.”

“I’ve got someone who would fit the bill; he’s short enough at any rate,” Bronn continued, ignoring Stannis’s response. Joffrey laughed at this, knowing Bronn was referring to his imp of an uncle.

“Hold on,” Euron said, looking over at the prince. “Who the hell are you bringing? Mummy dearest perhaps.”

Ramsay got a kick out of that as Joffrey’s cheeks flushed with fury. “Unlike the rest of you peasants, I’m betrothed to Margery Tyrell, the flower of High Garden.”

“And for that, I pity her,” Renly quipped. Ramsay chuckled while Bronn and Euron howled with laughter.

Stannis tensed as Joffrey’s face reddened. The Lannisters were an important ally to the throne. Despite rumours and doubts, Joffrey was the heir. Cersei would not take lightly to such treatment towards her son. And so he shushed them all, attempting to get back to business.

“What news, master of whispers?” He asked, shifting his attention to Bronn.

“Well, rumour has it you bring children to council meetings,” Bronn japed.

“You’re not letting that go?” Stannis sighed.

“Master of Laws, surely if the Hand can bring a guest, the rest of the council can as well?” Euron queried, leaning forward as he addressed Ramsay.

“Indeed, Master of Ships,” Ramsay replied, sharing a grin with the pirate.

“There, you see? You’ve been unfair, Hand. I propose we bring our own guests to the next meeting,” Euron said.

“I second this,” Bronn added.

“Me too,” Joffrey said. Both Qyburn and the Mountain nodded.

“I object,” Stannis cut in, attempting to overrule.

“The vote is five to one. The motion carries,” Ramsay sentenced. Stannis grit his teeth but there was nothing he could really do. He decided to his loss and call the meeting to an end. As they left, the council discussed who they’d bring next meeting. Stannis grabbed ahold of Renly before he got a chance to slip off.

“So, am I your guest?” Renly smirked, looking up at his older brother.

**Author's Note:**

> While the phrase "flaming poof" is used, the authors do not condone any type of name calling/slur usage.


End file.
